Do you really know yourself? Really? CAN YOU CONFIDENTLY SAY YOUR IDENTITY IS INTACT?
If you do, how come identity is sometimes mistaken?
Why is it vague?
DO OTHERS say “I know you better than you know yourself”?
Why is it I am mama nani (Loose Swahili translation is Mother to so and so)?
Baba nani (Father to so and so)?
Daughter or son to nani (so and so)? Is identity about who we are, or how people know us?
I have been thinking and one thing for sure is that matters around Identity and self awareness are really deep seated, sadly at the back seat for most of us.
What is Identity?
Self identity refers to an individuals personal construct, an individuals character, an individuals self structure and perspective. Another face to it is based on individual context and this is where we get “I am a socialite, I am a teacher, I am vegan or christian, a mom or a dad”.
So do we as individuals invest on self identity or on individual context?
Our definition of self identity becomes bouched (complex term for tangled up) most of the time not because we do not know who we are but because we fail to attach purpose and meaning to it.
Identity crisis comes in, mistaken and fake identity comes in, because we fail to recognize our actual selves.
If say we attach our ideal identity to context, what happens during change in context?
What happens when we loose the job?
What happens when we are separated from that spouse?
What happens when we loose our kids?
Do we retain our identity ?
Or does it change?
Here is the deal.
for us to get a stable and long standing self identity, we need to learn to base IT on stable characteristics, stable traits, stable values, virtues stable constructs thing that do not change in the short term.. Thats who we are. The term “i know you better than you know yourself” it comes because we are too busy investing in contextual identities rather than our ideal self identities. People will so likely define us or give us identities based on their normal or usual interactions with us like “the uncle who always smokes”, the “aunty who eats alot”, these titles are formed in the short term and in most cases end up sticking through generations based on our inability to defy the odds and bring out the real us.
Its time we all learn to seek our own true identities, to know who we are, what our personality is, what skills we have, what strengths and weaknesses we a carry, our boundaries and limits. It is only by this that we can be able to design and define our stable and ideal individual personalities .
You may invest in contextual identities, but what happens when change comes?
Strive to invest in self awareness, strive to invest in personal growth and the titles will come later.
Last question.. What do we really need to invest in? Ideal or contextual identity?
Tell us what you think in the comment section.
And look out for the next blog post alert.
For you whose identity is intact, check this out. An article on Mindfulness